Arresting the process of delearning life skills

One of the things that worrying me recently in the context of my diagnosis is how, by having a defined coat to wrap my problems in, I'll stop trying to improve myself, and maybe start regressing. I've been told that a lot of my problems are just down to the way my brain is connected, this has two sides, on the one hand it gives space and relief to be nicer to myself, I can't help being this way, it's not my fault so I should embrace, but on the other it kind of gives me an excuse to stop working on myself. T intimated she was jealous of the fact that I could almost say 'I can't learn on change that' as means I can almost stop the struggle. She's right and that is kind of how I've been viewing things. Is that the right solution though?

I think to some degree it's going to have to be, I think a lot of my depressions and anxieties have come from my negative self-image. That I'm a failure and that if I just tried a bit harder to fit in, to do things in the expected way then I would be successful, that I wouldn't be so anxious and depressed. That's the connection I need to break the anxiety and depression is the result of me not fitting in mainstream society, it's the effect, not the cause. However, if I'm not careful I can start ossifying into this new role, thinking I can't improve myself so why try, why not just sit there only doing exactly what I want to do. I think this is dangerous thinking.

It's really easy to just sit around and only do exactly what I want all day, it would lead to less short term depression, but certainly not less long term, I need to earn money. So what i need to do is carry on trying to improve myself by finding the right place where i fit in. To be able to use my skills and abilities in a context and employment that doesn't also lead me to feel anxious and uncontrolled. I  need to work on what my actual parameters are. What can I do? What can I put up with? What's an acceptable level of short term mental ill health? 

I know where I'm at at the moment isn't it, it's too chaotic and has no real driving purpose so I start looking at trying out different things that maybe have a little more order. I think what I crave is to understand what I should be doing with a day, what is the output required of me on any one day. Completely withdrawing is definitely not going to help me find this answer :)