I have an appointment to catch up on the results of my Autism diagnosis that I'd completed over the past couple of weeks. I was anxious, I always am when I have an unscripted, unknowable interaction due to take place. I'd expected I was going to be told I didn't meet the criteria to have a diagnosis, purely on the basis that it would be to helpful for me to be given one and I figured with the way my life went that I wouldn't even fit in with being different.
Turns out I was wrong. I got told I met all the criteria. A couple of choice quotes were around the fact that apparently only wanting one or two friends is an autistic point of view and the fact I never asked the examiners for their points of view (I mean why would I it was an assessment about me?) There were lots of other things that I'm sure I'll go over in more detail as I digest it but the nub of it was I finally had an explanation.
The fact it's taken me 6 weeks to begin to write this and process that diagnosis is probably telling in of itself, bar the initial shock it bounced off me at first it's started bubbling up more and more these past couple of weeks since Christmas. Things that now make sense in context. Lots and lots of things. Like loads of them. Infinite things. I've been going through some of my older journalling, specifically stuff from before I suspected i might be on the spectrum and it's all laid out there.
The point of this blog is to help organise my thoughts and to go through how I want it to impact on me and maybe help share a coherent narrative when I'm done.
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