Another birthday hs come and gone and I feel poorly and I ate too much but it was actually alright. It was nice to have a low key even with my family :) I got the cheesecake of my dreams rather than being lumbered with something bigger and got to have a nice Thai microwave meal rather than having to go out and order something I didn't really want to have. It would've been nice to cook something ut I really don't feel I have the energy or wherewithal and I feel the state of the kitchen isn't really concussive to it.
Outside of that I feel work is probing where and when I am after me vanishing a lot yesterday, feel a bit annoyed that no mention was made of my birthday but probably shouldn't as I don't really bother with anyone else. Tis what it is. Was a bit crap not actually doing anything all day though. I don't really know which direction to take it.
Do I grind out as long as I can, getting in a reasonable amount of money for basically training myself and having no real responsibility or do I force myself out and get a job? I can't see how things could last past one more year but one more year is a nice extra amount of money coming in. It would be £70k of which £20k would be pensioned + a lot of time basically doing what I wanted, free education. I think there's no way other than to push on with this for now. Think I'll be outed soon though as I obviously don't actually do anything. A year now of about 1 day worth of work a week. It's mental.
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